


My Heart in Your Hands

by loveyou-x3000 (Severa)



Series: Scars [1]
Category: Hanyo no Yashahime - Fandom, InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon
Genre: AU - InuParents Diaries, Angst, Exploration of InuYasha's origin, F/M, Gen, General relationships - Freeform, Inu-Yasha: Swords of an Honorable Ruler Into inspired, Post-InuYasha Pre-Yashahime, Tragedy, all the feels, alternative universe, can you tell I'm all about a sibling relationship between Sesshomaru and Kagome???, illiterate!InuYasha headcanon, past history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severa/pseuds/loveyou-x3000
Summary: InuYasha brings home a piece of his past.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Inu no Taishou/Izayoi, InuYasha & Izayoi (InuYasha), Sesshomaru & Kagome
Series: Scars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894606
Comments: 10
Kudos: 147





	My Heart in Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@heavenin--hell](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40heavenin--hell).



> Inspired by another [heavenin--hell post.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/heavenin--hell/615792076275187712)

"Where did he go?"

"He didn't say, exactly."

"Did he tell you why?"

"He said he had some things to get… Why are you here?"

Sesshomaru stared down at her – down, because he was so impossibly tall, it wasn't fair that he was _so damn tall_ – and blinked once. Kagome had been back in Edo for seven years now, and in all that time her brother-in-law had barely spoken to her. But now he just decided he could walk into her house unannounced and uninvited, and interrogate her? _What the hell?_

Suddenly feeling self-conscious under his stare, she wrapped her arms around herself, as if holding her swollen belly would make her feel any better. How could he be so intense?

"You're pregnant."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." The words tumbled out of her mouth without bothering to consult with the smarter, less suicidal part of her brain, but she honestly couldn't find the energy to care. Sighing, she shook her head. "Whatever."

Ignoring the icy stare she imagined she'd earned herself, Kagome turned away and tried to sit back down by the dwindling fire. No easy feat seven months into a pregnancy, but anything was better than standing. Her ankles were screaming at her already. What she wouldn't give for a massage...

And then she nearly shot out of her skin when Sesshomaru reached out and _helped_ her, wordlessly and swiftly moving to offer his arm for support and taking her forearm in his other hand to steady her.

"Oh, uh– I–" 

Now she was the one blinking and blank-faced, taken off guard. He just stared back at her, impassive. Clearly unimpressed as her mind struggled to comprehend the fact that _Sesshomaru was touching her, not trying to kill her, what the hell_ –

"Thank you."

Reality caught back up to her and she took his arm, trying to fight off the inexplicable warmth that was filling her chest. He was being... nice.

“Hn."

Once she was settled, he surprised her again by sitting down beside the firepit with one graceful movement. She’d half expected him to leave out the door and into the night without explaining himself, but instead he reached out and fed the flames with the chopped wood InuYasha had stacked near the fireside, chasing off the chill of the winter air.

When the fire had returned to a healthy height, he leaned back and folded his arms into his sleeves, apparently settling in. Tenseiga and Bakusaiga rest in parallel across his lap, scabbards and hilts shining against the warm light. Kagome tried to gather her thoughts into something useful – she had never been alone with Sesshomaru, not like this, not since Naraku – but he shattered them in an instant, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"He asked me to keep watch over you in his absence," he explained, answering her previous question. "A... favor."

Sesshomaru seemed to struggle with the concept. Kagome couldn’t blame him.

"He asked _you_ for a favor?"

He nodded, seemingly as surprised as she was. It was almost impossible trying to imagine her husband asking for help from anyone, let alone from Sesshomaru. Maybe they weren’t always trying to kill each other anymore, but that didn’t mean their relationship wasn’t still outright hostile at times. 

"Wow." Kagome shook her head, a little bewildered. But it was touching to know that InuYasha cared so much about her that he was willing to set his issues aside, even if it was only for the night. 

"Indeed."

Things felt a little less awkward after that, comfortable enough that she could return to the tea she'd been drinking prior to his arrival. A few moments passed in silence as she wondered if trying for small talk with him was even worth the energy. She didn’t have much to spare, thanks to the little gymnast currently occupying her uterus. 

_Will you sleep well, tonight?_ She rubbed the top of her belly, sipping her tea in a vain hope that it might calm the baby down for the night. The foot that suddenly pressed against her spine felt like an answer. _I see._

She never slept well when InuYasha wasn’t there with them.

"Did he tell you where he was going?" she wondered, trying to swallow down her nausea with the rest of her drink. It was going to be a long night.

Sesshomaru's eyes were drawn to the flames in front of him, a million reflections dancing across his irises. She got the impression that his thoughts were distracted. Unsettled, maybe. 

"No," he murmured, closing his eyes. "But he was heading towards the coast."

* * *

It took only a few hours for Sesshomaru to lose his patience with her discomfort that night. Which was impressive, considering he must’ve been able to hear her tossing and turning from the other side of the house. 

Yes, it did occur to Kagome that InuYasha might suffer an aneurysm when he saw his brother in his bedroom and his wife curled up in his fur, but she’d couldn’t bring herself to care. The sheer amount of _youki_ that radiated off of him and his personal shoulder cloud soothed the baby, and anything that was good for one of them was good for both. InuYasha could deal.

For the first time in a week, Kagome felt like she’d be able to sleep without waking up feeling like she’d been thrown down the side of a mountain.

And to Sesshoumaru’s credit, he was sitting as far away from her as his fluff would allow.

* * *

When she woke, Sesshoumaru was gone. She was laid flat on her futon with all her normal pillows, supported as best as she could be, and there was a familiar warmth radiating under the blankets. A body at her back, a hand entwined with hers on top of her belly, and a lock of silver hair draped over her shoulder. 

_InuYasha._

His red _hakama_ was spread over her like a blanket, as protective as it was warm. The smell of the forest lingered over it, carrying with it a hint of a distant ocean breeze. He’d traveled far and come rushing back to her, she knew; she could feel it in the steady, tired rise of his chest against her back.

She pressed backwards into him, smiling as he stirred and nuzzled into her neck.

"Morning, wife."

"Good morning, husband." She twisted slightly in his arms, turning to see him pull himself up and back, bending his elbow against the pillow and pressing his chin into his palm so he could see her better. His eyes were soft and radiant in the early morning light, if not a little sleepy. "You're back."

"I'm back," he murmured, leaning down to steal a kiss. "Told ya I wouldn't be gone long."

"You did." She did her best to roll towards him and he helped, making her feel a bit less like a flopping whale as she situated herself on her back. "Forgot to mention the babysitter, though."

"Keh." InuYasha looked away from her, rolling his eyes. If he was annoyed about how he must’ve found her and his brother when he returned, he didn't say anything. "Bastard was just supposed to keep an eye out. What the hell was he doing in the house, anyway? Scared of the snow? I thought you were going to stay with Sango."

"Their house is…”

“Loud?” 

“Full,” Kagome corrected, trying to be a bit more tactful. “I couldn’t impose. We would've been fine on our own."

"Bah."

"Where did you go, anyway?" she wondered, "What was so important?"

She could feel his mood shift. The gentle, lazy circles his thumb had been tracing on her belly stopped, the rest of his fingers twitching between hers. His expression changed too, still turned away from her, moving inward. It was almost... sad.

"InuYasha?" She reached up to touch his face, gently cupping his cheek. He leaned into it, closing his eyes and turning his face in to kiss her palm. "What is it?"

Carefully untangling his fingers from hers, he twisted away from her, reaching for something behind his back. She let her hand fall, folding it with the other over the swell of her stomach. Luckily, the baby still seemed to be asleep.

"It's just... I had to go get something..." After a brief moment of rustling around in something hidden behind him, InuYasha turned back, holding a large box between them. Kagome moved to sit up and he was swift to do so himself, helping her up once his other arm was free from underneath him. 

“What is it?”

He moved behind her in one easy movement, trapping her between his knees so she could lean back against his chest for support. 

"It belonged to my Mom."

His admission left her breathless. Now unable to see his face or read his expression, Kagome could only guess at what he was feeling, but there was enough in his voice to know that this wasn’t easy. InuYasha never spoke about his childhood. There was so much she didn't know, always lingering underneath the surface– memories that seemed to have plunged down even deeper into his depths after they’d realized she was pregnant. 

But now he was holding his heart in his hand and offering it to her.

"Your Mother?"

"Take it."

She obeyed, feeling a little numb around the edges as she took his past between her fingers. The box was heavy; made out of solid wood and adorned with metal clasps, it was far too large to be a jewelry box and too small to be a proper chest. It measured as long as it was wide, roughly the size of two oversized textbooks stacked on top one another. Tiny grains of sand pressed and grit against her palms as she tried to brush the dirt off the top.

InuYasha wrapped his arms over the top of her belly, pulling her in close so his cheek could rest against her temple. 

"Go ahead."

He must’ve dug this up somewhere. It couldn’t be from his Mother’s grave; that wasn’t on the coast. He’d taken her there after they’d been married. Izayoi rested on a hill above a lake, underneath the shade of a large maple tree. Whatever this was hadn’t come from there. 

_How much have you not told me, InuYasha?_

Having no idea how old this item was, she took great care handling it. Enough so that InuYasha chuckled, gently kissing her hair.

"It ain't gonna break."

"Sorry, I just–" she could feel herself blushing a bit, embarrassed. "It's your Mom's."

He kissed her head again, but didn't pull away this time. He nuzzled in instead, hiding his expression in her hair. He didn’t seem to know how to respond. And as much as Kagome wanted to melt into those affections, she forced herself to focus. Now wasn’t the time to ignore what he was trying to share with her.

"Okay then."

Steeling herself against her own anxiety, she thumbed the clasp free with a soft  _ click _ and ignored the gentle flutter it set off inside her stomach, more likely from the anticipation than the baby.

_ Oh. _

It was filled with books. 

Thin, unmarked journals, bound with glue or string and stacked on top of one another in messy piles. There were loose pieces of paper caught between them; single page writings among longer, accordion-folded sheets, marked with countless columns of ink. Kagome even saw the edges of scrolls near the bottom, hidden beneath the layers of yellowed paper.

"Mom wrote a lot," InuYasha murmured, answering the unspoken question. His voice was somewhat muffled in her hair. 

She nodded, finding herself at a loss for words as she gently plucked one of the loose notes free. 

_I worry about what's going to happen to him when I'm gone... Other mothers worry about a fever taking their babies, but I worry about demons. Or worse, humans... He's so much like his Father..._

"She tried to teach me," he was saying, turning to look down at the letters she was reading. He pressed his cheek up against her head, talking quietly. "But I was a shit student. Never listened. Didn't care."

She put down the first and picked up the next, scanning down the first column.

_His elder brother came to see him for the first time today. InuYasha thought he was his Father._

"I was wondering... I thought maybe..." He held her a bit tighter, dropping his chin down onto her shoulder. "Thought she might've written something that might help you. Help us. If you wanted to read them."

"InuYasha..."

Kagome placed the letters back as gently as she could, easing the box shut and setting it on the ground beside her. She ignored the gentle trembling over her own fingers as she turned around, moving with some difficulty until she was kneeling in front of him. He moved with her, gently resting his hands around her hips. But he looked away from her, trying to hide his expression.

The realization hit her like a train.

_He can't read._

If felt as if all the wind had left her lungs, her breath gusting out of her like a sail. She held his face as she tried to grapple with the truth, unable to reconcile the thought.

_He can’t read._

How had she never noticed? All these years... 

_It makes sense._

They had always traveled together. When there had ever been a need to read, she’d been there– and if she hadn’t, there was Miroku or Sango, or even Kaede. Kikyo, too, before Kagome had ever fallen through the well. 

Feudal life didn’t require literacy. For nobility, yes; and InuYasha had been born into nobility. So maybe he knew a little, but clearly not enough. His Mother had died when he was young and the demon world hadn’t accepted him. Human society cast him out. There would’ve been no one there to teach him.

So here he was, bearing his Mother's diaries because he couldn't read them himself. All her words and all of his secrets inside of them, offered to her freely because they were both terrified about the unknowns for their child; because the only person he could go to about raising a child with demon blood was his long-dead Mother. 

"Oh, InuYasha."

She turned his face to her and he looked up, still hiding so much in the depths of his golden eyes. But whatever she might've found there was washed away when concern took over, his own hands reaching up to her face as her tears began to spill over.

"Hey, hey. C'mon, no crying."

He pulled her into his arms as gently as he could, helping her unfold her legs so he could hold her in his lap. She sniffled against his chest, trying to not let the dangerous mix of emotions and hormones overwhelm her.

"You don't have to," he whispered, "It was a shit idea, I'm sorry–"

"Of course I'll read them to you, stupid!" she protested, lightly hitting her fist against his chest. It shut him up well enough, giving her a moment. "It's just, I mean– InuYasha, I can't believe–" Taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes, Kagome steadied herself. "I just wish you'd brought them to me sooner."

He gazed down at her, gently tucking a stray lock of her hair back behind her ear. There wasn’t anything else to say, so she took his hand instead, holding it between both of hers. He was being so vulnerable with her. It was breaking her heart.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," she insisted, kissing his knuckles. "Just... thank you."

His brow furrowed, his thumb tracing a gentle circle on the back of her hand.

"For what?"

"For trusting me."

**Author's Note:**

> See the original rough draft version [here](https://loveyou-x3000.tumblr.com/post/627230256101736448/heaveninhell-so-as-you-know-ive-been-digging). This little drabble has turned into a sprawling multi-chapter series, so be sure to click over to the next story!


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